It seemed everything I did was never good enough. Every time I tried, someone or something was there to remind me of my failure. I quietly gave up and gave in. Not to God but to the world. I started doing things for attention because I really didn't know who I was. I didn't realize that what God had designed for me was ONLY for me and that my blessings weren't going to come from the world.
You see it is easy to get caught up in worldly possessions and to be fascinated with things (material or money). It is hard to submit to and acknowledged the Word of God. To know your Worth, to be committed to self improvement and self growth enlightens your mind and allows you to positively reflect on the good that many bad experiences teach you. There is good in every situation. Through experience comes growth. You learn not to allow things that don't add value to your life to continue to hold a space in your life.
This task isn't easy. You know how you can see things in other people that you don't like? You recognize those easily because you also portray those traits. Its like looking in a mirror and not liking what you see. When you surrender to God, you are able see the things you no longer are willing to accept. I stop accepting things that wasn't for me and started dealing with the things that caused despair. I went through the grieving process. I identified it, dealt with it and I let go of everything that I no longer accepted. I surrendered!
I stopped blaming people for any negative thing that had happened or was happening in my life and started holding myself accountable. Now understand, that doesn't mean that everyone is willing to forgive you nor does it mean that others are ready for growth or have grown. My surrender was for me, not for everyone else. I understand I'm not perfect but I have knowledge that I was made in perfection. Everyday is a task but what I love and know most about my task is there is nothing too good for God and He will not allow me to fail. I now know I am enough and good enough for anything that is for me.